She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
a search helicopter?!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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