my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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