Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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