I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just had sex bonerless
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
