Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
