There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
