Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
