life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
