So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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