Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize