I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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