Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Less talking, more tequila
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
