'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
