Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
