eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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