I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
