They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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