I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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