he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
