I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
