so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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