you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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