Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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