I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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