the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
