the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
