You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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