I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
