the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think my moral compass just broke
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