remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize