I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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