i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
