Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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