we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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