If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
