Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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