i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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