Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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