so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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