u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
