i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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