So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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