Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize