yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
