This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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