Midget sex pt 2 tonight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
