I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Will exercising make me less horny?
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