those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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