Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
