just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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