NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
