I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
