i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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