i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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