Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
