quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
