Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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