Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize