yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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