We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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