At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
