dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
