I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
