Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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