This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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