the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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