It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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