i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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